Klitzentitz

The vodka brand that doesn’t exist.
The store that does(n’t exist yet either).

Built on sarcasm, a terrible name, and zero follow-through.

WTF IS THIS?

Klitzentitz was a naming experiment that accidentally cost real money.
It started as a fake vodka brand. Then it turned into a website about failure to launch.
Now it might become a store. Or a joke. Or both.

I’m seeing what happens if I actually build it out publicly, in real time. My mildly self-aware experiment in turning regret into merchandise.

I have no plan. But I do have a domain name and a tendency to commit too far to bad ideas.

Welcome to my slow-moving existential branding disaster. Enjoy the show.

From the Brand That Brought You Regret

Proudly built with no business plan.

Design by impulse. Strategy by accident.

Your disappointment is part of the brand.

Statistically speaking, it will fail.

Functionally useless. Emotionally accurate.

Still cheaper than therapy.

You scrolled this far. That's on you.

Fresh From The Dumpster

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Proudly Selling This Nonsense

We made it. You might buy it. The circle of bad decisions continues.

**Store Under Construction.